I've followed with the trend of picking a word for the past couple of years now. Wait. Better. Fear. Those have all been some of my past chosen words. And here we are, time for another picking. I've been slowly making a list of goals and things that I would like to accomplish in 2017. After looking back on my goals for 2016, I realized that...well, I didn't do nearly half of what I wanted to. That bums me out, but also makes me want to worker harder in the new year. 2016 was the year of fear. The year of fearing the Lord and striving to know Him more. Some dreams fell away and some old dreams returned, ones that I had forgotten about or chose to ignore in the past. So, I re-circled those dreams. The Lord has put them on my heart for a reason and I believe, in one way or another, He will bring them to fruition. I'm excited to see that happen and it makes my heart flutter just thinking about it. And I know that I'm still not close to some of those dreams becoming reality, that the season of waiting continues. However, I'm more content in the Lord than I've been in years, and that I realize, is what makes the waiting easier. The later half of 2016 sent me on a search to find rest. I started a new job in 2016, one that I never thought I would be in, but love. With that comes new routine and changes. I found myself mentally tired, more than physically tired. For a couple of months, it seemed that things just came one right after another. There was no slowing down, no moment of calm, before something else popped up that needed to be taken care of. I needed rest. I needed renewal. And the Lord gave it to me. He showed me that He is my rest and where I find all rest. In that place, in Him, is everything I need. As long as I look to Him, as long as I put Him first and allow Him to be all that I need Him to be, there will be nothing more I need. I began that in 2016 and I want to continue it in 2017. There are things I would love to do this year, dreams I would love to keep circling and prayerfully see Him answer, but most importantly, I want to choose Him. I want to be about the things He is about. I want to daily look to Him, I want to find my rest in Him, I want to follow Him to wherever He has me to go. Spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, missionally, daily, big things, little things, in friendships, relationships, in my writing, at my job, in everything! He needs to be a part, because all these things are for His glory, and I want to do the best I can with what He has given me. So, I will choose Him. In every step of the way, I choose Him. Simple. You know, when I was thinking about what word to pick for this coming year, I was struggling with it. I wanted it to be some amazing thing, because I felt like it had to be perfect. I thought about flourish or cultivate. And while those are great words, they just seemed too fancy for me. I'm simple. And I like that. I don't need eloborate things, the smallest things make me happy, and I don't need grand gestures. I need simple and easy. As I was doing the Advent study with Sacred Holidays in December, something that Becky Kiser wrote stuck out to me. She said, "There isn't a magical formula to following Jesus. Following Jesus is simply choosing to actually follow Him. This following looks different for each person because we are all different." I love this, because it is simple and true, yet I often forget it! I get caught up, thinking that my time with the Lord, or my life even, has to look a certain way because that is what other 28 year olds are doing or what it looks like on Instagram. My call is simple, choose to follow Him. So, simply choose Him I will. The word for this year and the word that I pray is for every year? Choose. Have you chosen a word for the year? What is something you want to do in 2017 that you didn't do in 2016?
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Well, today is the day that I admit that I didn't finish yet another challenge. Have I mentioned that I'm horrible at follow through? I am. My intention is great and I love setting goals, but I have absolute no follow through. Two weeks is around the time that I usually fall behind and slowly walk away from whatever it was that I eagerly began. Case in point: I made it 15 days into the Write 31 Days challenge. At the beginning of October, I started the journey to aim to write about finding rest for 31 days. I wasn't as organized as I should have been, I wrote most of my posts at night (sometimes late at night) after work, one post was written entirely on my iPhone, I didn't promote the series like I should have, and the majority of posts do not have pictures. I didn't tell many about the challenge mainly because I thought I wouldn't finish it and I heard once that you're more likely to finish something if you don't tell anyone about it... I think part of me thought that my writing would take off and that I would have some sort of book idea by the end of it. That was the elaborate, long-term goal. The easier, short-term goal was for me to just get into the habit of writing every day. It's something that I enjoy, so why wouldn't I make time for it? I bounced around with different ideas about what to write on for the next 31 days and I almost changed it completely the night before it began (even after I had already created the graphic). But, I knew that rest (and finding it) was something that the Lord was calling me to, because He knew that I needed it. Writers usually write about what they know or they do a lot of research before writing and sometimes (most times maybe) it's a combination of both. Rest was something I wanted to learn and write more about, because I felt like it was something that most of us need and are seeking. I didn't know just how much I was needing rest, until I started reading about it. Many books, lists, and Scripture searching later, I've found that needing rest is something continual and that it ultimately is found in my Savior. I wasn't going to find it in 31 days. But in 15 days, I was closer to a better understanding of it. And thankfully amazed at the perfect timing of the Lord, that He knew that now is when I needed rest the most -- emotionally and spiritually. Honestly, if I had finished writing about finding rest back in October, I probably would have stopped looking for it. I would have thought that I had found it and been done with it. I would have thought, "Okay, I know what rest is and how to accomplish it. I'm sufficiently rested up." But, I think the Lord knew that I would still be needing this reminder, even now, maybe more than ever. I needed the reminder, that to sufficiently find rest, I must daily look to the One is All-Sufficient. So, here we are, day 16 of writing about finding rest. But, day 42 of actually learning what that is.
"This is what the Lord says: 'Stop at the crossroads and look around...'"
Jeremiah 6:16
I'm stopped. I look right, left, straight ahead, and then look back. I could always go back, right? But, like I said yesterday, even if I turn around to go back the way I came, the road may not look the same as I remember it.
As Benjamin and his tribe are leaving, away from Jerusalem where they want to be going, the Lord tells them to stop at the crossroads and look around.
"This is what the Lord says: 'Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’'"
Jeremiah 6:16
Other than my reply being the same as the reply of Benjamin and his tribe, looking is definitely what I'm doing right now. Looking for direction especially! The Lord has told me to stop, so here I am planted where He has me. I'm at the crossroads with roads all around me, but lost at not knowing which road to take. "Look around," the Lord says. Each road holds something completely different. Each equally terrifying.
If I take the road on my right or left, will it continue to be like the road I'm on? Will it just be the same over and over with nothing really changing? If I go straight ahead, I'm barreling into the unknown. A vast road that never seems to meet the horizon and lots and lots of miles ahead of me. Unknown terrain to me, but mapped out perfectly by God. If I turn around and go back the way I'm came, what do I gain? The road behind me has already been traveled. It's filled with potholes and sharp shoulder drop-offs. I barely made it down that road the first time, I don't want to go down it again... I'm stopped and I'm looking. Eventually I feel like I'm going to start turning in circles and all the roads are going to start to look the same... Lord, I'm looking, now what?
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"This is what the Lord says: 'Stop at the crossroads..."
Jeremiah 6:16
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I don't think I realized just how much I would need this finding rest series when I first started it at the beginning of the month. When I first learned about the 31 day writing challenge, I decided to join in mainly to get myself in the habit of writing daily. Although that may or may not continue after this month is over, I want to write or create something at least every day...even if it's something small. Yet, so far, this journey of finding rest has led me to open my Bible more. And if I get nothing else out of this, that is worth it all and more.
I've realized that the journey to finding rest is just that, a journey. Some days it seems long, like the rest stop is still many miles away. Then there are days where I seem to hit every rest stop just when I need it. I came across this verse in Jeremiah yesterday and it stopped me on my journey, because I finally heard what the Lord is asking me to do. And I saw what my stubborn, disobedient reply has been.
"This is what the Lord says: 'Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’'"
Jeremiah 6:16
This passage comes when Jerusalem is under siege and that is where Benjamin and his tribe were wanting to head. Instead, the Lord was leading them to a different place, away from Jerusalem. The Lord is clearly giving them directions of where to travel and how to travel, but He says that their reply is, "No, that's not the road we want!" Other versions say, "But you said, 'We will not walk in it." I'm shocked at their reply, but only for a minute, because I realize that is my same reply on most days.
How stubborn and defiant I am to the Lord when He tells me the right way to go! I want my reply to be the opposite of Benjamin and his tribe! I want to follow the advice of the Lord because doing that is what leads me to finding rest for my soul! I must do what the Lord says and first He says to, "stop at the crossroads." Which is actually my normal reaction when I find myself at crossroads. Whether I'm hiking and walk up on it or driving and come up on it, I first, stop at the crossroad. Right? Left? Straight ahead? Turn around? Each direction holds a new path. Even if I turn around to go back the way that I came, the road may not look the same as I remember it. Because now that I'm stopped, I have a decision to make, but first, I must...
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Enter the giveaway below before October 28th for a chance to win! Thank you for reading this Finding Rest Series! "This is what the Lord says: 'Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’'" Jeremiah 6:16 What a timely verse for me to read today. With five, simple commands of what to do in order for me to find rest. Yet, the reply of Judah is also too often my own reply. "No, that's not the road we want!" This isn't the road I want Lord, take me somewhere else...but it has to be the road if I want to find rest. "God is jealous for the honour of his sabbaths. If walking out on the sabbath to seek for food was thus reproved, walking out on that day purely to find our own pleasure cannot be justified." Matthew Henry Commentary on Exodus 16:23 When God has called me to rest, even the tiniest distraction that draws me away from Him can lead me to disobedience, worry, and wandering. God has called me to worship Him alone. He gives me rest so that I may be able to worship Him. He knows all the things that are vying for my attention, that are calling my name. My prayer is that His whispers of my name calling me to Him will be louder than the distractions of the world. He is jealous for honor and worship. I don't want to hold back. He doesn't hold back on me. I almost didn't write at all today. I wanted to write and in a way knew I needed to write. I just didn't want to. I came home, worked in my backyard, talked to my mom on the phone, had dinner with my roommates and then was about to pull out the computer, but went to lay in my bed instead. And that is where I am right now. Typing this out on my phone, desperately trying to keep my eyes open.
Desperate. That's a word that has been showing up all around me lately. It means to "have an urgent need or desire." But, there is another definition that stood out to me. It said desperate was something "reckless or dangerous because of despair, hopelessness, or urgency." I am desperate for some hope. I am desperate for some truth. I am desperate for God's love. I am desperate for some rest. For the days where I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm desperate to talk to God. For the days where I just want to lay in bed. I'm desperate for the Lord's strength. For the days where I don't have answers when someone asks if I'm alright. Im desperate for the Word of God. For the days where my head overthinks and my mind becomes my worst enemy. I'm desperate for God's rest. I'm desperate to be pulled out of the pit, but I'm also desperate to not forget Who pulled me out the pit. To remember that He hears my prayers. That He gives me more strength than I imagine. That His word never fails. I'm desperate to remember that He gives me rest and in Him I am renewed and refreshed. Lord, I'm desperate for You... I know that rest is waiting for me and I know that the Lord will give me rest. Besides the fact that my body just needs rest sometimes and I need to break away from my routine sometimes, God commands us to rest. After He created, well everything, He rested on the seventh day and admired all that He created. He set apart this day and made it holy. Then, He commanded us to remember and observe this day. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." Exodus 20:8-11 In the Old Testament, while the Israelites were journeying to Canaan, they came to a point in their travels where food was scarce and they started complaining to Moses. The Lord heard their grumbling and said that in the evening they would eat quail and in the morning they would be filled with bread. The people were only to collect enough for that day and no more. Each day the Lord was going to provide just what they needed. If they collected too much or kept some for the next day, it would ruin. On the sixth day, they were to gather twice as much, because on the seventh day, the Sabbath, they were to rest. They couldn't even cook! Not a finger was to be lifted, only rest was to be observed. The footnote in my Bible says: "The Israelites were not to work on the Sabbath -- not even to cook food. Why? God knew that the busy routine of daily living could distract people from worshiping Him. It is so easy to let work, family responsibilities, and recreation crowd our schedules so tightly that we don't take time to worship. Carefully guard your time with God." This is so true! If I am not intentional in taking time to rest, if I allow my schedule to get so busy or fill all my hours with meaningless tasks, my heart and mind get so far away from thoughts of rest. I love routines, but I have to remember to take a break from them sometimes. Whether it be on a Sunday or a Friday, I need rest. I need rest to slow down. I need rest to catch up. I need rest to worship. The Lord God worked hard creating the world in six days and He took joy in what He created on the seventh. He allows me to work hard six days, so that I can praise Him for that (and all His many other blessings) on the seventh. The Sabbath may look different for all of us, it may even be on different days, regardless of when it falls we are to observe it. We are to rest, so that we can worship the God who provides for us daily. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29 |
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