I imagine that one of the best parts of being engaged (and getting married) is having parties where you get lots of presents. I mean, who doesn't love presents? Birthdays, Christmas, graduations, baby showers, engagements, weddings. Presents show up at all of them.
I attended a bridal shower once where the bride-to-be was given a surprise gift by all the hostesses. It was the holy grail of all wedding presents. A KitchenAid stand mixer. We all gasped and oooed and awwed, while flocking to the box to check it. The bride-to-be was so surprised at her new beautiful appliance. I'm sure she started thinking about all the things she would be baking in the future. I went over and grabbed the box, pretending I was going to snag it for myself. I mean, it's not just the holy grail of all wedding presents, but the holy grail of all kitchen appliances! Anyone who loves baking and creating in the kitchen wants a Kitchenaid mixer.
I made a comment to the hostesses that I was now expecting a KitchenAid mixer. One of the ladies came back with, "You don't get a KitchenAid mixer until you get engaged." And I thought to myself, "who made up that rule?"
Now, I know she was probably just joking and teasing with me when she made that statement, but it stuck with me and recently got me thinking. What else do I not get to do until I get engaged? I love cooking and baking. But, because I'm not married does that mean I can't cook every night if I want to? I love traveling. But, because I'm not married does that mean I can't travel to different places and have vacations in exotic places? I want my own house. But, because I'm not married does that mean that I can't one day buy my own house and have people over to enjoy the space? Because I'm not married does that mean that I can't go out to a dinner and a movie? Can I not buy myself a KitchenAid mixer?
Of course not. My singleness does not limit me in these things. My singleness does not hinder me from living life. I just do it a little bit different. Of course friends may come along during any of the journeys, but traveling will be for one. Which makes it cheaper and frees up time for me to do what I want. If I own my own house one day, it will be decorated and cleaned how I want it. I can have people over whenever, seeing as there will be no inconvenience to another. I won't have to worry about someone talking during a movie. And I can cook all the foods and baked goods that I love for myself and decide later whether I want to share or not. Or, I can invite tons of people over to my house and have them sit around the kitchen table talking as we bake and eat. Which is one of my heart's true desires.
Don't get me wrong, I can see the benefits and upsides of sharing life with someone as well. There would always be someone to bake for. Someone to remind you to get your stuff from the bathroom before you leave the hotel room. Always someone to turn to when you have a bad day. A person to enjoy sitting on the couch with. Yet, still no talking during the movie please.
All I'm trying to convey is this: my singleness should not hinder me.
My singleness will not hinder me.
My singleness does not hinder me.
I don't want to push aside or put off certain experiences just because I'm single or because I'm waiting for marriage. Because, (here's the tough pill to swallow) that season may never come for me. I don't want to keep waiting and miss out on all the other things the Lord has planned for me because I thought I couldn't do it until I got married. If marriage doesn't come for me, I don't want to look back 10 years from now and see the things that I missed out on. In 10 years, marriage or not, I want to look back and see that I did all I could. That I followed the Lord wherever He led. I want to see that I continued doing things that made me happy and allowed me to experience joy. Looking back, I want to see that I built friendships and maintained them. I want to see that I traveled and shared the Gospel. I want to see that I used all the Lord gave me to bless others. I want to see that I used those years of singleness for the glory of God.
In 10, 15, 20 years, marriage or not, I want to look back and say that I didn't squander my young, single years. I want to say those were the years where I grew up. Those were the years that I freely allowed the Lord to use me. That was the season that my singleness didn't hinder me.
This is the season that my singleness does not hinder me. I pray that I freely allow the Lord to use me, whenever and wherever He chooses.
And, if during any point of this journey someone does get me a KitchenAid mixer, I would like mine to be in retro blue.
If you are single, are there some things you have been wanting to do, but may have put off because of your singleness?
If married, was there anything you wanted to do in your single years that you didn't but would encourage singles to try?
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