I don't know that I've ever posted any fiction writing on here. And if I have, it's been forever and I don't remember. It's not something that I write often, so if you find some and it's horrible, just keep scrolling. With that being said, today you get fiction. I found this piece below on my computer that I wrote back in 2014! I searched the blog and didn't find where I had ever shared it. So, here ya go!
Casey definitely could not see herself living here permanently, for the small town life didn’t suite her well at all. But, she didn’t mind visiting every once in awhile. She adored her parents, but could only put up with her Mama for a short period of time, and her Papa was her best friend.
“Friday night in a small town, so it makes sense that everyone and their brother is in this place.”
“Well, you know, if it isn’t football season, there isn’t anything to do here.” Mama replied.
“Do you even remember the name of this book?” Casey asked, trying to sound helpful and not at all annoyed.
“It was either ‘She Remembered Everything’ or ‘She Taught Him All.’"
Casey continued running her hands up and down the spines of books, looking for what seemed to be the needle in a haystack. There were tons of mysteries at her fingertips, her Mama’s favorite genre nowadays. She could never get into them, maybe because they all seemed the same. Or maybe she just got enough of that at work. Casey's whole week, day in and day out, revolved around mysteries. She spent sixty hours a week hunched over reams of paper and drawing on whiteboards piecing together clues. Missing children, missing wives, missing husbands, possible drug cartels; she has worked them all.
Casey pulled another book from the heaping pile, “Is this it?” she asked handing it to Mama. Mama opened it up and began reading the first few pages. Casey looked back to see Papa who was propped up against a shelf reading the newspaper. He had tuned everyone in the store out. Turning back to Mama, she saw she had put the book down.
“It sounded very interesting, but that wasn’t it.” Mama said unsatisfied.
“Well, why don’t you get that one? We may never find the other one in all of this mess.” Casey encouraged.
Mama looked up at her, about to reply, but then was suddenly looking past her.
“Jason!” she yelled throughout the store.
No one seemed to notice, as they were busy searching for their own hidden treasures. Mama dropped her book and ran past her. Casey picked up the book and swiveled on her feet, stopping when she finally spotted Mama and Jason. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite place him. High school? Rivaling high school? Elementary school? Casey had lived here her whole life, but she managed to escape without fully knowing everyone. She kept wondering where she had seen him before. Mama may have remembered him from long ago, but she felt like she had only recently met him. Work? It was possible, but she had been working so many cases lately that she had been introduced to so many people. He didn’t look like a detective or a cop. He was tall and dressed casually in jeans and a button up. A normal, small-town guy, boy next door type. Casey heard her name as she snapped back into reality.
“Do you remember Casey? She is here for a visit and you must come say hello! Come, follow me.” Mama ordered.
Casey turned around and looked at her papa who was observing the whole situation from the top corner of his paper. Her eyes met his and she gave a pleading look of help. He just smiled and went back to reading his paper. Thanks, she thought to herself and off she took. There were plenty of people in the store, so she could easily escape and hide to where Mama couldn’t find her. But, she hadn’t been in this store forever and was forgetting how it all connected. Plus, the people! There were so many of them. Why had everyone decided to come here tonight? She couldn’t complain much right now though as they were helping to hide her from Mama. Mama always did this when Casey came home for a visit. She would magically find someone that Casey hadn’t seen in forever, or someone she thought was nice, or someone who was new in town, or someone she thought was very handsome, or someone that was all of the above and single. It was the game to play. Casey comes home, she visits for a while, let’s find her a husband, Casey runs away. Casey ducked down an aisle just as her Mama turned right after her.
“Casey, where are you? I have someone you need to meet!”
“I’m coming down the aisle Mama, be right there.” She lied, as she was really going to get out of this aisle and then bolt to the front door. As she got to the end of the aisle and could see the door in her sights, Mama stepped out in front of her. Defeated, Casey let out a sigh and straightened her dark jeans and blazer. She has won again, Casey thought.
“Jason, I found her.” Mama said as she reached for the man’s elbow, pulling him along. Where did she know him from? It was killing her that she hadn’t figured it out yet.
“Hi, Casey.” Jason said, like speaking to an old friend.
“Hi, Jason, was it?” Casey retorted.
“Yes, that’s right. Enjoying your visit home?”
“Sure, as much as you can enjoy being in a crowded store on a Friday night with the rest of the town.” Mama gave her a look of “be nice” after that one.
“But, yes, I am enjoying it. It is a nice change of pace from work.” Casey said, as she reluctantly changed her tone.
“It definitely is that!” Jason replied in agreement, like he knew exactly what she was talking about. She had to have seen him around work. She still just couldn’t place him.
“I’m sorry, Jason. I’m just trying to place how I know you and I just can’t seem to figure it out.” Casey questioned.
He shifted on his feet and looked at her Mama, then laughingly asked, “And you say this is her eighth year in Intelligence?”
Then, it clicked. Casey finally knew where she had seen him.
He was a cop.
I don't know if anything else will get written about Casey and Jason, the cop. But, hope this was a fun read for you on a Monday!
The older I've gotten, the more I've gotten excited about the idea of settling into one area. My college summers and the year after graduation were all spent in different places. I know I was meant to be in each of them. And when memories come flooding in from all of those places, when the faces I remember come back to mind, a smile comes on my face, followed by a sweet sadness.
When the memories flood in, I realize how fast time truly went. I immediately want to go back, to remember.
I want to snap my fingers and be back in the ice cream shop in New Orleans, that one night when camp was over, and we would all be leaving soon. I want to stay in that space, laughing forever. I want to hop a plane and be back on the shores of Lake Tahoe and I want to walk the Rim Trail knee deep in snow for just a mile longer. I want to always be among the snow covered pine trees when the wind blows and snow falls gently to the ground. I want to go back and sit with all the kids I've met for a little while longer. Read one more story as they sound out words, color one more picture. I want to go back to that one hill in Arizona, and sit there every night as the sun sets in the desert. I want to go back to the first time I saw the Grand Canyon and sit on the edge for just a little longer.
I want to go back. I'll trade my days of being settled and in routine, to go back to the days that I want to last just a little bit longer.
Like the college nights spent sleeping over at a friend's house when we watched nothing but The Office and made pallets in her living room. Or the nights spent cheering on our favorite football team. The nights we would fill up our favorite restaurants and stay until they turned out the lights. Those nights we made blanket forts and ordered way too much pizza. When we would push together the tables in the dining hall, so we could eat as one big family, going back for countless bowls of ice cream. The time we crammed more than enough people into a beach house. The night we went looking for a meteor shower and never found it, so we turned on music and just danced beneath the clouds.
I want to go back. I want to make myself stand back for just a minute longer and take it all in a little deeper and longer. To remember the smells of the summer night, how the water felt when I ran through it, the excitement of family all around, the breeze as it gently went by, the smiles and laughs of friends who wouldn't be friends always...
I've become used to the idea of being settled. But one thing I will never be completely settled in doing? Saying goodbye.
Saying goodbye to family, to places, to friends. I never want my best memories to become hazy, or worse, lost.
It's true that each day there are new memories to be made. God has written this incredible story that only He could write. The only thing I can do is walk into the new page each morning and see what He has written. I've walked quickly through some of those chapters in the past, barely stopping to see what He wrote on the pages beneath my feet. And that's why I want to go back, that's why I want to trade my settled routine. I want to go back and see those pages again. I want to go back and read them a little slower, as my feet move from one word to the other, syllable by syllable. With each step I want it to be stamped into my memory bright and full, like I'm living it again.
But, with the turn of each page, it becomes just another memory. Another goodbye. Another part of a chapter, filling a book, with a story where I vaguely remember the beginning and don't know the ending. Memories don't keep the goodbyes from happening. But, I have to look for the greetings of each new day.
I have to look down at the words on the next page. Because new memories are unfolding and, for today, I can be settled. Today I can walk the pages a little slower, take in the words a little slower. Because in another five years, ten years, twenty years, I'll look back and want to come back to this chapter. I'll want to come back to lazy rainy days, to the nights spent on roofs, to the sound of waves rolling in from the Gulf. Back to the moment your best friend finds out she's having a baby boy, when you watch a friend graduate, when families invite you into their homes.
I need to read these words slowly, Lord. Don't let them pass until I've taken all of their meaning in. Keep the memory bright and full. Keep me settled in today, so I'm always looking at the pages that You've put under my feet.
While in Las Vegas, we had the opportunity to do a little exploring. We either were heading to The Hoover Dam or Red Rock Canyon. And although I hate that I missed out on making dam jokes, I'm so glad we chose Red Rock Canyon! After leaving California about three years ago, I have missed getting outside everyday and hiking outside in the beautiful west. While the South is beautiful, the West is equally breathtaking! Red Rock is about 30 minutes or so outside Las Vegas. Huge rocks with red stripes plopped down in the middle of the desert. Put it against the backdrop of a bright, blue sky and it's magnificent!
Have you ever been to Red Rock Canyon or Las Vegas? Where is your favorite place to get outside?
Check out more photos from this trip here.
I sometimes think it would be fun to have job where travel is a big part of it. Then, I realize that I very much like to stay at home. I love traveling, I love flying, I love exploring new places, I love meeting people from everywhere. But, I also really love the weekends where I don't leave my house. Those are the weekends that I look forward to after nights spent out or weekends spent traveling. April was a month filled with busy weekends! Something that usually doesn't fill my calendars. While it physically and mentally exhausted me, I absolutely LOVED all the moments and getting to spend time with friends and family. The first week of April was spent celebrating my mom and dad's wedding anniversary (aka our familyversary). They stayed in Mobile, explored during the day, relaxed, and then we had dinner each night they were here. (It was great for me! Thanks for all the meals, Mom and Dad!) One night they were here we watched the movie Vegas Vacation, all in preparation for my trip to Vegas. It is a hilarious movie and if you haven't seen it, watch it. So funny!
My trip to Vegas was actually nothing like Clark Griswold's. One, the only time I set foot in the casino was to eat at a buffet and grab Starbucks. And we didn't visit the Hoover Dam, but if we had, I wouldn't have veered off the tour and tried to climb the thing. I would however have made plenty of "dam" jokes. It just required people. You can't pass up that opportunity. Just like the many times we would travel to Sardis Dam in Mississippi when I was younger. On the way we always passed The Dam Store. And every time, it never failed, my sisters and I would make dam jokes. And the whole car would laugh and we would just lose it! We still make those jokes and laugh today.
So, there was no veering off tours or winning of cars (seriously watch the movie, it's hilarious). I was in Las Vegas to partner with a church plant and help them get ready for their neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. We stuffed 15,000 eggs and passed out thousand of flyers around the neighborhood. 15,000, you read it right. It was at times monotonous and annoying when the plastic eggs wouldn't close. But, once we had a good assembly line going, easy peasy and smooth sailing. While there we got to visit a couple church plants and it was great! One was pretty similar to the church I attend (and work at), the other two were plants with small congregations. I really enjoyed being a part of their fellowships for the weekend. It was refreshing and encouraging to be reminded of the simplicity of the Gospel, and how ultimately, our mission as believers is to love people where they are at. It's what Jesus did and it's what I want in my relationships. How can I not offer that to others? That's a post for another day. Today is for a photo dump of photos from Las Vegas!
One of my absolute favorite things about flying out west is that there is a good chance you will fly over the Grand Canyon. I've stood on the rim before, but flying over it gives a while new perspective! So amazing. One of my favorite places and sights. When we weren't stuffing eggs or passing out flyers, we got to visit around and see the city some. One evening we went and walked The Strip. Each casino is themed differently and it was literally like we went to another country when we walked through them. The architecture was awesome! At The Venetian there was a Carlo's Bakery, from the man behind Cake Boss, and it was delicious! I got a Hazelnut Lobster Tail and oh my goodness. I want one every day. We watched the fountain show at The Bellagio and went to the conservatory inside. It has tons of flowers! I read somewhere that all the flowers are changed out every two weeks there! The top of The Bellagio offers a great view of The Strip! And lastly, I can't head out west and not hit up In-N-Out Burger. So yummy, I love it. Those cheeseburgers, fresh fries, and chocolate shake. Yes, please! Glad we got to stop there for a bite to eat!
Have you ever been to Las Vegas?
I remember going on my first mission trip ever when I was in high school. It was the first time I had ever really been away from my parents, my first time really out West, and my first time on an airplane. I was so excited, but also nervous. Stepping into Arizona was a new world to me, even though I was still in the United States. It brought me new friends, new realizations about people and life, and challenged me greatly in my walk with Christ.
One of the most memorable moments is when I was standing on a plateaued hill, in the desert of Arizona, watching the sunset. The sky literally seemed to be painted, as it turned so many different colors. God as Creator became real to me then and He's never let me forget that moment. Since then, I've tried to serve Him locally and domestically as best as I've can and go wherever He has led.
He really does work in mysterious and sometimes funny ways. Like when as a freshman in college, I sat with a friend at a cafe in New Orleans and told her that I felt like God was leading me there. And He did in the summer of 2011. Or the summer I served in Mobile, many years before I would eventually call that city home, as I do now. Then, He somehow got me to California, the absolute farthest I had ever been from home or anyone I knew. I went fresh out of college and knowing no one. Simply ready for adventure. And that it was.
Because when following the Lord, it is certainly an adventure. A beautiful, fun, crazy, most times scary, adventure. I've visited places I've only dreamed about and somehow, I'm not sure how, but I love them all so much. I smile when I think of them and I love when they come up in conversation (or let's be honest, when I bring it up because I want to talk about it). I smile because of the places I've been, the people I've met, the pictures I've taken, or simply just my memories. I smile, because I often can't believe that the Lord would give me such great chances. And I smile because His love is just that great, that He did, and still does, give me those chances.
It was way easier to say yes to those chances when I was in high school and college. Now, I feel like there are so many other things I have to think about, or work out, before I can say yes. And because of thinking that way, I wonder what I've passed up, because I didn't say yes...
Missions is in my heart. The people, the places, the food, the smells. They get in my heart and they never let go. I don't want them to. I want to hold on to them forever. I want the memories to grow stronger, but also make room for new ones to form. With new places, new faces, new smells, and new sunsets.
Every place has its sunset moment. Lord, I pray I don't miss it...
A few weeks ago, the tree in my front yard was full of bright, pink blossoms. A hint of spring in the middle of winter. Today, the leaves are green, bright and colorful in the midst of other trees still bare. Yet, nearby, pink azaleas, both light and vibrant, are already blooming as well. Petals and green leaves hold on tight under a sky mixed with grey and white clouds with a hint of blue sky, as the wind blows dead, brown leaves across pavement.
I love watching the wind blow. You can see it travel, first hitting a tree way off and then others following suit as their branches and leaves begin to sway side to side. Petals and green leaves seem to dance, while the dead leaves tumble across the driveways. I want to be like the petals and green leaves. Holding tight to their branches, dancing as the wind blows by. Blooming. But, I find myself more like the dead, brown leaves. Tumbling, head over heel, as the wind blows. Thrown from driveway to driveway, trampled by feet and car tires. Nothing to hold on to.
My mind doesn't dance with the wind, it tumbles with constant worry. Worry about all the things that can go wrong. Worry about what I will do next. My mind doesn't dance with the wind, it tumbles with constant sadness. Sadness over things I do not have. Sadness over how lonely my heart often feels. My mind doesn't dance with the wind, it tumbles with being angry. Angry about all the things I can't do. Angry about how things always seem to be just out of reach.
My mind tumbles, but what does it take to dance? What does it take to bloom? The petals, green leaves and dead leaves all feel the wind. The wind moves them all in some way. Attached to their branches, the petals dance as the green leaves follow. The dead leaves tumble by, no longer is their place on the branch. They all feel the wind, but whether they are attached to the branch or not, determines how the wind moves them.
Apart from Christ, my Branch, I can do nothing. My mind will tumble all day long, as the wind blows, and as long as I'm not connected to Him I'll keep tumbling. But, how is it, why is it, that even when I find myself attached to the Branch, I don't always see myself blooming? Or dancing? Only tumbling? I know the source of everything I need, but I'm not letting Him nourish me. Instead of letting Him grow me, I'd rather fall off the Branch. Yet, I know that the moment I leave the Branch, nothing will be the same. And all chances to bloom will be gone, tumbling down the pavement with me. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.
The wind is coming, it's inevitable. Worries, sadness, anger. If I'm the dead leaf, I'll only continue to tumble when the wind reaches me. But when attached to the Branch? I'll have life, vibrant and bright. And when the wind comes, I'll be able to dance. And one day, if I keep hanging on, I might even bloom.
"I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest -- and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man."
Proverbs 24: 30-34
I bounce between hedonism (the pursuit of pleasure or self-indulgence) and sloth (laziness), particularly when it comes to following Christ. One moment I am in pursuit of something wonderful, blissfully and full of glee I run towards things that I mistakenly think will bring me pleasure or happiness. Then, after what seems like days and lifetimes of running, I collapse. No sign of a finish line anywhere in sight it seems. And quickly into acedia, sloth, I fall. And just as quickly, I start wondering what the point of it all is. I was running and running -- and never found anything. I start to wonder what the purpose of my wandering is.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51 is the cry of my heart. I pray for mercy, forgiveness, cleansing, restoration, and a sustaining spirit. All along the running way I've been staring at my sin that surrounds me on every side. Yet, with every stride, I've been crying out, "Give me a new heart, God. Renew my spirit. Don't leave me in the dust! Come and sustain me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation!"
The joy of salvation. The joy! I keep repeating it with every step. The joy! Run. The joy! Run. The joy! I keep repeating it, hoping to understand it more. To take hold of it better. To better understand the joy of knowing my Savior. To experience His graciousness, forgiveness, and redeeming of my soul in new ways. I keep crying out as He listens and renews, restores, and sustains me. And as He does, the joy of salvation comes closer into view. All I want is to get closer, even if just to touch a corner of it. Like the bleeding woman who pushes her way through the crowd, straining with all she has, to just touch the edge of The Healer's cloak, I push on, hands outstretched, to take hold of the joy that replaces and repairs my brokenness.
"As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. 'Who touched me?' Jesus asked...'Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.' Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.'"
What else am I to do with this brokenness? These pieces are all I have to offer Him. The stone wall is ruined, what hand could rebuild it? Only the mighty hand of God. And to my amazement, He accepts my sacrifice of broken pieces, the only thing I have. And it pleases Him, because He is able to shine through the brokenness. His Light shines through the cracks!
Even a little sleep, a little slumber, a slight pause in the run, will make me stop for longer than I want. If I stop, I'll completely stop running before I even reach the reason I started running in the first place. And because I couldn't see it then, I may never start running again.
But, I must. Because the pursuit of something beautiful ends when I find Him. Finding joy in Him is the purpose of running in the first place. I must simply choose to start running. Sluggard and broken no more, but strong, firm, steadfast.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."
1 Peter 5:10-11
I've followed with the trend of picking a word for the past couple of years now. Wait. Better. Fear. Those have all been some of my past chosen words. And here we are, time for another picking. I've been slowly making a list of goals and things that I would like to accomplish in 2017. After looking back on my goals for 2016, I realized that...well, I didn't do nearly half of what I wanted to. That bums me out, but also makes me want to worker harder in the new year.
2016 was the year of fear. The year of fearing the Lord and striving to know Him more. Some dreams fell away and some old dreams returned, ones that I had forgotten about or chose to ignore in the past. So, I re-circled those dreams. The Lord has put them on my heart for a reason and I believe, in one way or another, He will bring them to fruition. I'm excited to see that happen and it makes my heart flutter just thinking about it. And I know that I'm still not close to some of those dreams becoming reality, that the season of waiting continues. However, I'm more content in the Lord than I've been in years, and that I realize, is what makes the waiting easier.
The later half of 2016 sent me on a search to find rest. I started a new job in 2016, one that I never thought I would be in, but love. With that comes new routine and changes. I found myself mentally tired, more than physically tired. For a couple of months, it seemed that things just came one right after another. There was no slowing down, no moment of calm, before something else popped up that needed to be taken care of. I needed rest. I needed renewal. And the Lord gave it to me. He showed me that He is my rest and where I find all rest. In that place, in Him, is everything I need. As long as I look to Him, as long as I put Him first and allow Him to be all that I need Him to be, there will be nothing more I need.
I began that in 2016 and I want to continue it in 2017. There are things I would love to do this year, dreams I would love to keep circling and prayerfully see Him answer, but most importantly, I want to choose Him. I want to be about the things He is about. I want to daily look to Him, I want to find my rest in Him, I want to follow Him to wherever He has me to go.
Spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, missionally, daily, big things, little things, in friendships, relationships, in my writing, at my job, in everything! He needs to be a part, because all these things are for His glory, and I want to do the best I can with what He has given me. So, I will choose Him. In every step of the way, I choose Him. Simple.
You know, when I was thinking about what word to pick for this coming year, I was struggling with it. I wanted it to be some amazing thing, because I felt like it had to be perfect. I thought about flourish or cultivate. And while those are great words, they just seemed too fancy for me. I'm simple. And I like that. I don't need eloborate things, the smallest things make me happy, and I don't need grand gestures. I need simple and easy. As I was doing the Advent study with Sacred Holidays in December, something that Becky Kiser wrote stuck out to me. She said, "There isn't a magical formula to following Jesus. Following Jesus is simply choosing to actually follow Him. This following looks different for each person because we are all different." I love this, because it is simple and true, yet I often forget it! I get caught up, thinking that my time with the Lord, or my life even, has to look a certain way because that is what other 28 year olds are doing or what it looks like on Instagram. My call is simple, choose to follow Him. So, simply choose Him I will.
The word for this year and the word that I pray is for every year? Choose.
Have you chosen a word for the year?
What is something you want to do in 2017 that you didn't do in 2016?
I so wanted to have this post up on Monday, however we were having horrible weather which made for horrible internet. Then, Tuesday I rented the new Jason Bourne movie and watched that instead of blogging. Because, y'all, the Bourne movies are some of my most favorite and it hit Redbox this week! On to today's post: around the end of the year, photos and videos start popping up on social media, giving a recap of everyone's year. The best nine typically is found on Instagram, so I checked out what mine was going to be. The website just generates your top nine based on numbers of likes. While I liked all the photos, I didn't feel like it really showed what 2016 meant to me. So, I chose my own top nine. You may have already seen it on my instagram, but here is my top nine, with lessons, moments, and memories I want to remember as 2017 begins.
We were only three months into 2016 and I found myself moving into a house with my already roommate and two practically new to me girls. I was a little iffy on the whole move at first, I am anytime that I have to move. In college and the couple of years after, I never blinked an eye to moving around or changing places. Yet, the older I've gotten, it's something I don't want to do as often. I like where I am and I want roots. Roots can't grow unless they've been planted somewhere for awhile. At the same time, I don't want to be unwilling or unopen to whatever and wherever the Lord may lead me. Ultimately, my roots are in Him alone and in 2017, I want those roots to grow deep and strong.
This is straight from the Instagram caption of when I shared this picture last May: "Four years ago I graduated from college. My life looks completely different four years later than what I thought it would be. But, I'm resting in the fact that God's ways are higher and better than mine and I'm so thankful for that and praise Him for where He has put me. These years have taught me to take risks and have adventures, to take care of myself and cultivate good habits, that moving back home wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and the importance of finding community. So, here's to the next four years of navigating the sometimes unfamiliar adult life. My time at Bama taught me a lot, these last four years have also, and I'm sure the next four will as well. Roll Tide to the adventure that awaits." This year, 2017, marks five years out of college and ten (10!) out of high school. You guys, that seriously feels like a lifetime ago. Even as I read that caption and this post again, all of these things still ring true. I want this year to bring more adventures, more risks (the good kind!), more community, and more cultivating those good habits.
I think THE biggest lesson that 2016 brought me was experiencing forgivess and reconcilation. Not only in extending it, but being offered it as well. I finally broke through a wall that I had built and continued to fortify for six long years. That wall did nothing but keep people out and allow my heart to harden. And when the silence of six years was broken, I found freedom. There was reconcilation, yes, but there is still work to be done. And I've never been so happy to see work in my life. If there is one post I want you to go back and read from 2016, it is this one. And I pray that if there is someone on your heart, someone you've had silence with, someone you need to forgive, that the walls will come down and freedom will come in. Never have I understood Ephesians 4:32 more. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
It's funny to me how quickly friendships can form and how I don't often remember the first time I meet someone. I just remember all the times after and the stories and moments we can relive. My last year at college brought me two of the greatest friends. We had been in school with each other for years already and in the same college ministry, but one summer we were all still in town when it seemed everyone else was gone, and we've been in a group message ever since. ha! Last fall, I got to watch one of those sweet friends get married. It was one of the best weekends and greatest celebrations. I love weddings, because they are like mini college reunions. And when one happens in your college town, you get to walk along the same streets and eat at the same restaurants at late hours and just reminiscence about how much you miss things. And realize that you miss it a lot, because of the people you were with the first time, and it just wouldn't be the same if you moved back without them. We may not all be in the same town anymore, but I know that they are literally only a phone call or text away.
Remember when I moved into that new house at the beginning of 2016? Well, it brought two new people into my little community. We are #Casa605 and we only have good vibes, #Casa605Vibes. And one of those girls got herself engaged and married in 2016. The other has become one of my dearest friends and we are practically the same person, except she is way extroverted and I am way introverted. So, it makes for interesting times.
One of the best books I read in 2016 was Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. I knew the moment that I saw it announced, it was a book I needed to read. I immediately pre-ordered and wanted to devour it the moment I got it in the mail. Instead, I took my time, did an online Bible study with Proverbs 31 ministry and worked my way throug the book, chapter by chapter, week by week. And there were some days I didn't want to keep reading, because it cut so deep. I'm pretty sure Lysa had seen some of my posts here or maybe a journal or two that I've written in, because this book was absolutely for me. It will frequently be pulled off the shelf and most likely re-read each year. One of the biggest take aways from this book was the practice of replacing lies with truths. I realized that I am not unworthy or alone, invisible or ignored, uninvited or defeated. My God sees me, knows me, and wants me. The same is true for you as well. In 2017, get rid of the lies and practice putting on truths.
In 2016, I discovered what resting in the Lord looks like. And how following Him is simply choosing Him. It's not always going to look perfect and it won't always be grand. But, all I have to do is simply choose to say yes. No longer do I want my laziness, lack of perfection, or comparison to other believers distract me from following the Light. I read this verse with new light in 2016 and I want to carry it with me into 2017: "My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek." I'm declaring and committing to that verse (Psalm 27:8) in this new year.
2016 also made me an aunt for the sixth time! I got to welcome and meet another sweet nephew into my heart. I swoon over every picture I have of my neices and nephews and wish ALL of my free time could be with them. I'll settle for holidays, praying that I make the most of the time that I have with them. And pray that they know how dearly loved they are. I will never understand how my heart can love so many places and so many faces. How much more is the Father's love for us!
And finally, 2016 saw the end of the golden year. I said goodbye to 27 and hello to 28. What does it hold? Only God knows. I've stopped with birthday wishes. Instead, I just thank Him that I'm able to blow out candles for another year and pray that I will enjoy every moment and honor Him as much as I can.
Happy 2017 everyone!
What lessons, memories, or moments are you bringing with you into this new year?
Since my last bookshelf update, I've finished a couple, started some new ones, I'm still working my way through a couple, and I've dropped a few to return to at a later time. The good thing is, my Christmas vacation includes a six hour drive to see family in Memphis, so many books accompany me on the trip. Here are a list of books I've read and a few that I'm still currently reading.
Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst | This book was on my currently reading list last post. I've since finished it and can say that it was such a timely read! I preordered this book the moment I saw the title: Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely. I have felt like all three of those things and during those times, I feel anything but loved. This was such an encouraging read for my heart and soul, giving me words I desparetely needed to hear, when I felt unseen and forgotten by God. I read this book along with the Proverbs 31 Ministry and their online Bible study. It was a fun experience to read this book along with that community and hear from other women who have felt many of the same things I have. It also allowed me to go through the book slowly, really soaking in Lysa's words. If you've ever felt less than, left out, and lonely, I encourage you to pick up this book. It's less than $10 on Amazon right now!
Humble Roots by Hannah Anderson | This book really opened my eyes to pride that I have in my life and how that can hinder me from really finding rest with God. Humble Roots explores how pride hinders you, but humility grounds you as it also feeds your soul. Anderson often compares gardening to the cultivating of humility in our lives. The similarities of how gardening and growing, as well as learning humility and overcoming pride, both take time, is a fresh insight and reminder that what we want isn't always going to appear overnight. At times, I felt like Anderson could have dived deeper into her findings, as some points felt short lived and cutoff, leaving me wondering and thinking there was more, only to not be found later on. Humble Roots also has beautiful sketches before each chapter. Whether they were to be colored or not, my copy is now full of colorful flowers and fruits, perfect to accompany my many margin notes and thoughts. (I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review.)
Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple | I saw this one floating around social media and blog worlds awhile back. I was strolling through the bookstore one day and picked it up off the bargain shelf. Halfway through the book, Bernadette was still (and always ways) a central character in the story. I was beginning to wonder when she would disappear or if she would. There were many characters, but all fit together so well. Towards the end, I wasn't sure how it was going to end and who's side I would be on, only knowing that I felt for Bernadette's daughter, Bee, in her journey, and how all she wanted was simple trip for good grades. This was a fun, fast read, perfect for the days I found myself laying on the couch fighting a sore throat over Thanksgiving.
Rest Assured by Vicki Courtney
The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith (aka J.K. Rowling)
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery