I recently joined a new small group at church and last night was actually my second time hanging out with everybody. This alone is an answered prayer, but that's a whole other blog post. Last night we all shared our stories or our testimonies. I've shared a little of mine here and there on this space. And I feel like every time I tell my "story" I do a horrible job. I'm so much better with written words than I am with spoken. The introvert in me doesn't want to speak and I stumble constantly over words and repeat the same thing over and over. Maybe, hopefully, it doesn't come out that horrible to those that are listening. The extrovert that craves to come out sometimes wants to be so eloquent that anyone would want to be her friend.
Anyways, back to last night. After I shared my "story" or whatever stumbled out of my mouth, I started thinking about all the things I could have said. I wanted mostly to say that my life has been a series of twists and turns, new roads taken, old roads left behind. I've pushed people away, forgotten others, and held tight to a special few. I've said no to God multiple times only to come back to say, "Yes, Lord." And every time it happens, I wonder why it took me so long to say yes in the first place. He shouldn't have to tell me something multiple times before I finally say yes. An overwhelming yes should be my first answer. Not only because He is God, but because He is everything to me. He is my Savior, my Hope. The One who guides me through all the twist and turns. He is my Friend, my Protector. And He is my Provider.
Whenever I have been in need of something, truly in need. God has provided. Whether it be a long awaited answer to a prayer or a definitive yes or no to this choice in my life, He has provided. There have been times where He has provided without me even realizing. The same goes with His protection over me. Every step I've taken has led me to a place where eventually I have found Him. Waiting, as if to say, "See, told you I would be here." He knows the exact path I'm going to take and He knows how long it's going to take me to get there. He knows I'll be stubborn and probably won't ask for directions at first. He knows I'll look for landmarks along the way, wondering if I turn left to go over the bridge or if I turn right past the old house on the corner. No matter where my trails go, in a straight line or all over the map, eventually they lead to Him. Waiting at the red "x" that marks the spot. The spot where He wanted me to reach all along.
When I look back and remember all the ways that the Lord has provided and protected me, I wonder why now I still don't relinquish control to Him. I wonder why I don't walk the straight path to Him. Why must I still trek all over the map, constantly reaching dead ends and climbing over boulders that are bigger than my car? Why do I look at the fork in the road and choose the harder path instead of running full sprint down the straight, clean path where my Savior is standing, waiting for me?
The things of this world are so shiny and tempting. They are beautiful and calling my name. But, oh how I pray I'll resist them. Instead I pray I'll stand at the fork in the road, fix my eyes on Him and run as hard as I can toward Him. I pray my eyes will be fixated on my Provider and Protector. But, if I do find myself on the hard path, I pray my eyes won't be blind to seeing the whole map. That even in the dead ends I'll see the lighted path that is my way out and my way back to Him. The way back to my Protector and Provider.
Who is God to you?
Which path are you running?
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